October 25, 2019 by phicks2012
Some people bring unhappiness into our lives without meaning to. They don’t seek to cause us emotional pain, but do so simply because we care about them and therefore feel sadness and anger because they are experiencing grief or pain or unfairness of their own.
But some people are just trouble-makers who bolster their own egos at the expense of other people, and cause deliberate trouble because it makes them feel powerful and superior to do so, or because it benefits them in some tangible way and they simply do not care who else suffers as long as they personally benefit.
I easily can name six people — if only, and by my personal choice, tangentially in my life — who qualify as toxic. I may have to see them occasionally because we share a hobby (or, in the past, a work place), but I do not interact with them in any way, shape, or form unless it becomes absolutely essential.
Such people can bring a great deal of anger in to our lives, because we often cannot help railing against the unfairness of life when it allows villains to prosper and good people to be beaten down or fall through the cracks, with their own efforts and successes going unnoticed, and unrecognized, and unrespected — maybe even co-opted.
Anger can motivate us to do better, thereby displaying our talents and abilities more publicly or clearly, so it does sometimes serve it’s purpose. However, staying angry only tends to sour us and make us bitter.
In any case, it has been said that a life lived well is the best revenge, and, since people of that sort are motivated by ego, they would far rather be hated and feared than laughed at and ignored. I believe, therefore, that we better repay their treachery by laughing at them than by allowing them to send us spiraling into pits of anger and depression.
We learn never to trust them, or to confide our ideas, inspirations or plans in them — simply because that is self-preservation. But allowing them to rob us of happiness and humor is handing them victory.
Thus, the verse below, which will be published very soon in our monthly SCA Newsletter, The Equinox.
Laughter is magical, healing my soul,
From wounds left by tragedy, anger and strife.
The music of humor can fill in the holes
That lies and betrayal have left in my life.
To laugh at my enemies, robs them of force,
And strips them of power to maim and to harm,
Denying their leverage to alter my course,
And shielding my heart like a magical charm.
It lightens the darkness when tragedy falls.
And chases the clouds from a turbulent heart;
It’s melody shattering cages and walls,
And ending despondency e’er it can start.
I offer no welcome to one who betrays,
And over my threshold I will not invite
The minions of chaos to bloody my days
Nor pain and toxicity into my nights.
To wake in the morning to sunshine and mirth
Is better than waiting for grief to unfold.
I’d rather be merry as I tread this earth,
And rise seeking laughter, to make my world whole.
[17 September, A.S. LIV, 2019]