Top 10 Fun G-Rated Things to do Alone on the Fourth of July That Don’t Involve Leaving Home or Shooting Off Bottle-Rockets
Leave a commentJuly 6, 2019 by phicks2012
There are times when you have plans with friends or family for the Fourth of July, or when you intend to watch a parade, or shoot off fireworks, or attend a Barbecue, or go to the beach.
However, there are also occasions when family is far away, friends are otherwise occupied, and you really just don’t want to get out and tangle with the holiday traffic and insanity. You just want to stay at home and (hopefully) out of the heat.
So, what do you do? I have a few ideas!!!
These are my (hastily cobbled together) “Top 10 Fun G-Rated Things to do Alone on the Fourth of July That Don’t Involve Leaving Home or Shooting Off Bottle-Rockets”:
10) Do absolutely no housework, yard work, schoolwork, paperwork, or legwork — though under-working and Celtic Knotwork are just fine.
9) Fire up the grill and float in the pool (or the creek, or the lake) if you have one, while listening to classic rock and trying to remember where you left your car keys and why you should care.
8) Finally get around to finishing that relaxing project you’ve been putting off for lack of free time, be it carpentry, embroidery, writing the great American novel, building a pavilion for SCA camping, or virtually stalking a celebrity.
7) Go off of your diet, if only for a day, and flaunt it! Be shameless, and let your neighbor, Twitter, or the Facebook universe watch you do it!!
6) Lounge in the garden, or in a hammock, with a mint julep, entertaining impressionable garden gnomes with your impersonation of Sleeping Beauty, Rip van Winkle, or the Dormouse.
5) Kick back in a recliner or a hot tub and binge-watch “Game of Thrones”, “Stranger Things” or “The Walking Dead” while sipping Irish Coffee Slushies. If those don’t exist, they damn well ought to!
4) Play on-line games like “World of Warcraft” or “League of Legends” in an air conditioned haven while eating Popsicles, drinking beer, and ignoring the phone, the doorbell, and the fact that the temperatures outside may be verging on the inhumane.
3) Send out for pizza, hot wings, or Godiva Chocolates — or all three — while contemplating the true nature of the universe and listening to Hitchhikers Guide on Audible — again.
2) Start a Twitter war with Donald Trump. Not only will it require minimal intelligence, but it might even be entertaining and keep him safely occupied.
1) Plot the takeover of the known world. Get some disreputable friends to help you if that’s more enjoyable, but you can also simply relish being a lone super-villain.
<Insert evil laughter here>
