Social Monotony

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December 8, 2018 by phicks2012

I have, admittedly, a LOT of “Facebook Friends”. Most of them I actually know (at least casually) through the SCA, and many of those I know fairly well, and genuinely like. You know “real” friends.

Mundanely, well, I can’t always say the same, and recently (while perusing my friends list) I discovered that I am friends with one woman (on 3 separate accounts where she only seems to post endless selfies and maybe holiday wishes) that I’m not sure I even know . Interesting, if remarkably boring. 😉 I haven’t unfriended her because 1)she seems totally innocuous, and 2)since she hasn’t mentioned a maiden name it’s still entirely possible that she might have been in school with me at some point prior to high school. The selfies don’t help however, and short of asking someone else who the hell she is I’m not sure I’ll ever figure that out without offending her. 😉

Now, most of the people I don’t know well at least have facial features I would find familiar should I see them face-to-face. However, there are some from whom I’ve accepted friend requests because we apparently have a number of Facebook Friends in common, even though I really don’t know them personally at all.

A few I’ve made a point of meeting since the friend request, and for the most part they’re at least “okay”, but I’m pretty sure a few of those remaining mystery friends don’t really exist in the same dimension or space-time continuum that I do. I do try to give them the benefit of the doubt, at least for a while, but I’m convinced that there are folks out there suffering from what I term “personality deficit syndrome” or PDS.

So, on occasion I get totally pointless videos, .gifs and memes via Messenger from people whose names and faces are entirely unfamiliar, and when I respond and try to figure out why I was singled out I discover that we cannot carry on any sort of intelligent conversation — mostly because they’re either scammers or we really have nothing in common and they had no actual reason for initiating contact.

Actual Example:
Them: <Stupid pointless .gif>
Me: Hello. Can I help you with something?
Them: How are you doing?
Me: Fine. Staying busy and working on projects and newsletters and heraldry. How about you?
Them: Fine. So you’re doing okay?
Me: Yep. Just fine. Can I help you with something?
Them: So what are you doing?
Me: Working on an issue of our newsletter and helping someone with a heraldic submission, but if you need anything —-
Them: Oh, Okay.
<Long Pause>
Me: Was there something you needed?
Them: Did you like the .gif?
Me: (At this point I just give up and stop trying to interact, because this guy clearly has nothing to say. He’s probably just sending out random-ass stupid .gifs to everyone on his friends list hoping for a response and then not knowing what to do when he gets one — or he’s just a major ‘creeper”).

So here’s a hint, Friends. If you want to connect with people via social media, do it by making “friends”, posting interesting things they’ll see, and getting responses and engaging in commentary. Do it by responding to their posts, too, and by establishing a rapport.

If you want to try connecting with one person in particular try messaging them to introduce yourself and by actually having something to say. I also had a guy message me and ask me the other day to buy him a $25 ITunes Gift Card from Walmart, and judging from his lack of conversational skill and poor English I’m guessing he was a very inept teenage scammer from some place like Bolivia or Uzbekistan.

Oh, and you guys — if you’re NOT a scammer, you can still be a creeper. If you’re trying to connect with a woman, be aware that it might not be the best idea to start right off by admiring her cleavage or telling her how long it’s been since you had intimate relations. I suppose it might work if she’s into recreational sex, an idiot, or totally desperate, but otherwise it’s rather like saying “Hey! I’m horny and looking to get laid by anything that moves, so I’m cutting right to the chase because I’m not picky and you have a pulse.” If what she’s looking for is a relationship with someone she needs to be attracted to, then your best bet is to put your best foot forward and try to make a good impression. If you don’t have a clue how to do that, then please just take me off your list, because you’re not the sort of person I’d even enjoy having a conversation with — let alone hot monkey sex.

As for you silent types, if you have nothing to say, having three or more Facebook accounts is totally pointless. Okay, actually, having even one is pretty much pointless if you don’t use it, but extras are a complete waste. SAY something, and try to make it interesting.

And as for you non-silent types, if I go to your home page to try to figure out who the hell you are — or if you share crap to my personal homepage and just about the ONLY things I see are angry (and probably libelous) political rants (I don’t care what party you support, by the way), or hate-mongering rants, or any other form of nastiness, I will unfriend you (and probably block you). I tend to avoid pollution whenever possible, and to me that’s just another form of toxic waste.

Just sayin’. And no, I will not buy you a gift card. 😉


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I am an active, outgoing person interested in all sorts of things and all sorts of people! I'm constantly discovering new interests, and expect that to continue right into the grave!

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