November 2, 2018 by phicks2012
We’ve all probably thought about it and fantasized about it, but what would we REALLY, REALLY do, and what incredibly stupid things would we NOT do? At this point, I’m concentrating on the latter.
Firstly, I would not advertise that I had won. I’d really rather no one at all knew about my good fortune, because I can pretty much guarantee that if my suddenly extreme affluence were well-known every grifter, scam artist, swindler, flim-flammer, and Nigerian Prince in the known world would probably take eager and immediate aim. I’d suddenly have more best friends, long-lost relatives, and wanna-be lovers than I could possibly count, and I’d undoubtedly be inundated with donation requests from charities (real and bogus), universities, politicians and televangelists. So here’s the thing. I would probably make anonymous gifts to the University of Georgia, to the SCA, to a very few well-researched charities or worthy causes, and to a few family members and good, long-standing, loyal and trustworthy personal friends. That’s pretty much it. End of discussion. I can guarantee that I would NOT be flying over the state in a hot air balloon singing “Pennies from Heaven” and scattering 100-dollar bills. Not happening!
I can also tell you for an absolute fact that I would NOT rush out — even assuming I had the vaguest idea where to get one — and purchase a Ferrari. Some human beings may honestly believe that they need to drive to McDonald’s or Chick-fil-a in something that costs more than a lot of houses, but speaking for myself just don’t feel the compulsion. I’d probably build my garage and barn, pave my driveway, and finish my basement — but not with solid gold bathroom fixtures, diamond and ruby chandeliers, and a digital heli-pad that plays show tunes and re-runs of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”.
I would NOT buy a villa on the Italian Rivera or a mansion on the Left Coast with easy access to Rodeo Drive. I might purchase a nice little log cabin in the mountains — preferably near water and with reliable internet access — where I could kick back in front of a fireplace or on a riverbank, watch movies, get enough TV channels to assure that I’d actually find something I want to watch, read mystery and fantasy books, play on-line games, and write salacious novels whenever I damn well felt like it. THAT I might do! I might also build a primitive SCA Event Site with a catchy name, bathrooms (fair’s fair), and a central Great Hall. I could definitely get behind that!
I would NOT buy a pet cheetah to lead around on a jeweled leash, indulge in ridiculously over-priced designer accessories or clothing, or buy a professional sports team — nor would I create a new bogus religion. After all, that last was handled by L. Ron Hubbard years ago. On the other hand, I might well donate to wild life preservation (just not in this lifetime to fanatics like PETA), get some new clothing and garb (natural fabrics only), get season tickets to UGA football games, go every year to Pennsic and Gulf Wars, and finally take an extended tour of the British Isles. Those things I can SEE myself doing — just without the blinged-out cheetah and the designer clothing. 😉
Finally, I would NOT 1) go on a gambling binge in Vegas or Monte Carlo, 2) finance a run for the U.S.presidency in 2020, or 3) buy the city of Braselton, GA from Kim Bassinger. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
So, what would YOU not do?