Aqua-Not

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March 27, 2018 by phicks2012

I am an Aqua-Not. I don’t like the color, and am fairly certain I was born with a genetic predisposition not to like it. Further, when I was still fairly small one of my aunts arbitrarily decided that aqua was my “favorite color” and proceeded to tell everyone so.

I’m not sure where she ever got that idea, because she certainly never asked me and I surely never told her any such thing, but it resulted in my receiving all sorts of birthday and Christmas gifts from the family that I then refused to use or wear and that subsequently had to be returned. This idiocy terminated eventually in my first car being that color, too — and it’s just my opinion, mind you, but I truly think painting a car aqua ought to be a felony.

At that point I finally asked my father why he selected aqua, and I was told it was because (thanks to my aunt) he thought it was my “favorte color”. That was when I finally found out just why I’d been barraged with aqua for so long!! WOW! Maybe I should have asked a lot sooner, huh?

It was too late at that point to ditch the car, of course, but I definitely let it be known that while I did like the color tourquoise, aqua was actually not a color I liked at ALL. I also added, as I recall, that I never bought anything in that color, and would wear it only under penalty of death or dismemberment.

Daddy never got me anything else in aqua, thank God, and once I realized what was going on I made sure to circulate through the family the word that aqua was, in fact, on my list of LEAST favorite colors to buy or wear (along with orange and certain shades of green and yellow). My aunt, naturally, ignored this — convinced as usual that she was right despite my assertions. On the other hand, maybe she just hated me, but then again if she was going to disregard my wishes I didn’t feel bad at all about letting it be known that I was returning every item she bought for me ASAP.

But the other day Fate decided to have a jest at my expense. I needed some cheap 3-ring binder notebooks, and went to Walmart to pick some up. I didn’t have time to go elsewhere, but I didn’t anticipate having any problems. I mean EVERYBODY who carries notebooks carries white or black ior gray, but after parking and hiking and eventually reaching the office supplies they had only one color. You guessed it. AQUA.

The style was right, but these had to be the butt ugliest notebooks imaginable in a solid color. Mind you, there are butt uglier notebooks, but those have “artwork” in noxious colors.

I can understand why these notebooks were literally the only ones left on the shelves. I mean, obviously everyone else thought they were ugly too, but unfortunately I NEEDED notebooks, and therefore lacked the wiggle-room to be picky. I grimmaced, cursed under my breath, and ground my teeth, but for the first time in my life I actually BOUGHT something aqua.

I do NOT plan to live with them though. My dislike of the color aqua is such that until I have the time to replace them with something else, I’ll very likely slip sheets of paper under the clear plastic and hide the color of the binders as much as is humanly possible. Following up on that, I may donate them to Good Will and hope that some poor aqua-loving individual sees fit to give them a new forever home.

Admittedly, it did occur to me to run by the cemetary and leave them on my aunt’s grave, but we all have inappropriate impulses from time to time, and that one was just tacky. 😉

Right?

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phicks2012

phicks2012

I am an active, outgoing person interested in all sorts of things and all sorts of people! I'm constantly discovering new interests, and expect that to continue right into the grave!

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