December 5, 2017 by phicks2012
Sometimes — just sometimes — I feel as though I’m living in the sequel, called “DOWN”. In the sequel there are about a thousand drab lead-filled balloons pulling me downward, and somehow they just seem to be getting heavier.
I don’t like feeling that way, and I’ve never been prone to clinical depression — which is GOOD. However, situational depression can sneak up on me every once in a while, and kick me in the gut, and it doesn’t help much if I have no one to talk to (i.e annoy and bore) or whine to about it.;-)
You may have noticed, if you’re observant, that most people don’t really want to be around folks who are depressed. It brings them down, and they hate that, so they either edge away or run away as fast as their figurative merry little legs will carry them.
This is, of course, more often the case when they’re reacting to people who are “chronically” depressed and do nothing but groan and complain about the state of their lives, their health, their relationships, etc. to begin with, and can never seem to find anything positive to talk about. People get tired of that REALLY quickly.
However, I’ve found that many people just have no tolerance at all for the emotional down-swings of others, even if they aren’t long-lasting. If you can’t help THEM out or make things fun for THEM, or cheer THEM up, even when you are feeling low yourself, they suddenly vanish, and stop responding to your emails or messages or phone calls. Imagine that!!!
So, when you’re feeling DOWN who do you talk to if you want to feel better?
If you’re lucky, you have at least one real FRIEND (note the capitalization there) who will listen, and commiserate, and help you to cheer up just by being there for you and by being a friend — maybe make you laugh by offering to kick your boyfriend’s or your boss’s ass for you, or offering to take you out to dinner, or dropping by with a bottle of Captain Morgan and getting you all drunk and giggly.
If you don’t have someone like that, bouts of situational depression can really suck even worse than they would otherwise, and if you have someone in your life, or immediate environment, actively ADDING to your stress — well, that sucks BIG TIME.
So here’s a couple of suggestions:
If you don’t want to chase people OFF, don’t allow literally everything that comes out of your mouth to be a complaint and be constantly and invariably asking for emotional or financial support. If you never offer an up-side and are always asking for pity, cash or both — then you ARE a Lead Balloon. That’s “DOWN”.
If you can find a bit of humor even in your own dark times, you won’t be nearly as likely to send people running and screaming away, and if you want to be a friend don’t head for the hills yourself, or go into hiding, as soon as a friend hits a bad patch. That’s called being a “Fair Weather Friend”, and I’ve had LOTS of those in my life. Real FRIENDS — eh, not so much, but there are some — LOL– and if you can supply laughter and a break from the stress and gloom — then you are a Helium Balloon. That’s “UP”.