October 24, 2017 by phicks2012
Apparently, it’s not just socks that get eaten by inter-dimensional item-swipers. Sure, it’s mostly socks, because those beasties tend to lurk around washers and dryers — probably because the little boogers favor the heat — but it would appear that some of their kin are also lurking in my kitchen, and in my office.
To begin with, I have at least six pizza cutters, collected over at least three decades, and the other night I searched my entire kitchen before finally finding ONE. Just ONE!
Okay, so I have a housemate with a known fondness for those flat, cheesy pies, and I suppose he might well have taken one or two up to his room to fraternize, but FIVE of them? Even a bout of Pizza Cutter Speed-Dating doesn’t require that many, does it? I think not!
Then I tried to find a ruler in my office. I know for a FACT I have at least four wooden yardsticks and six rulers (metal, wood, and plastic) in there, but when I went looking it took me fifteen minutes to locate a single one. A yardstick fallen/hiding behind a filing cabinet was the only one left, and while there might be a measuring device mixer going on in the basement workshop — again courtesy of my housemate — there are also at least three tape measures living there and no real need at ALL for my rulers to join in the frivolity.
When headache meds seemingly go missing, I pretty much know where they’ve gone, and when I take out a box of cereal or crackers and find it empty, it’s a safe bet where those went too, but NO one ought to get the munchies for, or find the need to swallow, pizza cutters and rulers, right? RIGHT!!
So I’m issuing a warning here and now to any inter-dimensional item-swipers who might be listening rather than wearing extra socks, treating headaches, slicing pizza, or measuring the length of their various acquisitions. HANDS (or alternative body parts) OFF!!!