August 25, 2017 by phicks2012
So, I recently came across a list on-line of “10 Characters Who Never Survive a Horror Movie”, and — with “Shark Week” recently on Discovery, and the genre movies on SyFy leading up to the debut of “Sharknado 5” — I felt inspired to do my own amateur research on “10 Characters That Never Survive a Killer Shark Movie”.
Bear in mind that I am in no way a professional research specialist, nor have I played one on TV, and that I may well have overlooked one or more of the “expendable character types” prevalent in movies of this sort — excluding, of course, the “unaccredited innocent bystanders, waders, and sunbathers on inflatable rafts or in inner tubes” and “anyone buried up to the neck in sand” who are nearly ALWAYS shark-bait.
I have selected, for MY list, “mostly” if not entirely, characters who might actually show up in the movie credits.
Readers, if any, are naturally encouraged to add to this list if they wish, and if they can. 😉
1. The Bimbo(s) Posing in a Bikini for Pictures at the Water’s Edge
2. The Total Douche/Villan
3. The Best Friend
4. The Dumb Redneck
5. The Professional Shark Hunter
6. The Unprincipled Reporter
7. The Surfer, Skier or Kite Skier
8. Anyone Who Leans Over or Sits On the Gunwales of a Boat
9. The Cameo Celebrity
10. The Narcissistic Body Builder
Repeating: Readers are welcomed to contribute to this list, if they wish. 😉