June 27, 2017 by phicks2012
We tend to think of tantrums as conniption-fits thrown by spoiled children when they don’t get their way about something. Some cry and roll around on the floor kicking and screaming. Some punch or throw things and do considerable damage. But, regrettably, tantrums aren’t limited to children — just to childish or emotionally challenged people, of whatever age.
Unfortunately, I’ve known adults (who ought to know better) who’ve ranted and raved (and occasionally put their fists through walls) when things didn’t go exactly as they wanted, or when they were asked to do something they didn’t want to do, or when something they said was questioned. I’ve seen a number of these in action numerous times over the years, and I have to tell you that these sorts of hissy-fits are not even REMOTELY becoming in adult males. I’m sure there are some women who also indulge in this sort of bad behavior, but the examples I mentioned all were men (technically speaking). The problem “women” I’ve know all had a different sort of “issues”.
I also know adults who, with no warning at all, can start ranting and raving and stomping around slamming doors in reaction to really minor occurrences — and I do mean MINOR. I’ve seen one of these (again male) in action recently, and this also is not attractive adult male behavior. Not by any wild stretch of the imagination.
In the latter case, I believe the problem (which is only sporadic) relates to untreated emotional problems rather than to severely arrested emotional development, and while the outbursts are loud and unexpected they can also (largely) be walked away from and ignored until the fit-pitcher calms down and starts feeling foolish and guilty — which he always does. BTW, I’ve found he also responds (ad extremis) to being totally cussed out by someone willing to get right in his face and blast him with sheer volume. 😉
In the former cases, however, I believe that the people involved were (probably still are) very simply spoiled and used to getting their own way by making it as difficult and uncomfortable as possible for anyone to disagree with them, or to make demands upon them. One was an outright sociopath, but that’s another story.
If you cannot express a differing opinion, or make a request without then having to deal with childish (and sometimes destructive) behavior, it is naturally more difficult to do either, and if you happen to be in a relationship (God forbid) with someone like this there is sometimes a tendency to keep quiet and to avoid MAKING demands. This is a freaking miserable way to live, but it’s either that or you have to do the intelligent thing and simply terminate the relationship. Go figure!!
In many ways though, it’s a matter of degree. If the tantrums are rare, without physical violence, and the person is generally agreeable, helpful, and likable, then dealing with “occasional” outbursts — while annoying –might be acceptable as long as they show some modicum of remorse or embarrassment over their behavior. If, on the other hand, the bad behavior is common and frequently unprovoked, or there is physical violence involved, I can see no real benefit in enduring it.
I mean, that person would have to be richer than Croesus or otherwise totally indispensable to make putting up with them at all worthwhile, and even then — Nah!
So to any other (blessedly unknown to me at present) adults out there in the ether who fit into the latter category and persist in acting like spoiled 3-year-olds, I have only this to say: Either grow up, or please just stay away from me, okay? Actually, stay away from my friends and family, too. My enemies, on the other hand, you can annoy to your heart’s content. Go for it! 😉