April 28, 2017 by phicks2012
Example: Years ago I was Pennsic War bound (it’s an SCA thing) and needed an ice pick. I went to five stores where the sales clerks didn’t even know what I was TALKING about. I hate to tell you how many times I tried to descibe an ice pick to people who merely stared at me, before I finally hit the local Ace Hardware and found someone who didn’t ask “Uh, what’s an ice pick?” DUH!
In any case, I was running errands this morning, and the Cancellation Fairy (who seems to follow me around) struck again — decreeing that Kroger would stop carrying my favorite small frozen pizzas. No one in the store seemed to know exactly when I was talking about, even the ones who supposedly worked in frozen foods, so when I got home I went on line to DiGiorno and did a products search. Easy, right? Nope!
According to that search engine (and, let’s face it, I’ve rarely known that sort of search engine to work well) no one in the entire state of Georgia had my pizzas anymore. I was offered an option of “ordering them on-line”, but when I tried that I discovered that while I could “order” on-line I had to “pick them up” at the store — in Michigan. DUH!
So I called the company, and finally found out that Walmart carried my pizzas. YES!!! I mean, I was jonesing for pizza, and one drawback to living in the country is that NO ONE delivers to my house — or if they do they charge me twice as much and still expect a tip. In any case, I sort of like having pizza handy to avoid repeated trips out for takeout, so I got back into The Beast and drove to Walmart — which is actually closer than the nearest pizza place anyway. Go figure! I got several pizzas to save myself later trips, but then decided that while I was in there anyway I wanted to buy a movie! Easy, right? Nope.
Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume Two is due to hit theaters on May 5th, and is being heavily promoted all over the place — including related items in the Dollar General Store. Well, I’d realized — after searching through my DVD collection last night — that I’d somehow never gotten a copy of Volume One, and usually when a sequel is coming out, stores make it a point to carry the earlier versions. But the DVDs in Walmart are organized in no discernable order. Display Shelves, aisle racks, bins, but no SIGN of Guardians One, so I asked for help. Three — count ’em THREE — different sales clerks looked at me as though I’d grown a second or third head when I asked where I might find the movie, and said they had “never heard of it”. Are you kidding? They all shrugged, suggesting that maybe it was in one of the bins jumbled in 2-feet deep with the “old movies”. Yeah! I really wanted to go “bin-diving” through copies of films and TV shows from the 70s and 80s — and earlier.
And what was this “Old MOvie” thing anyway? Guardians Volume One came out in 2014, less than three years ago, and there were still copies on the regular shelves of Avatar (2009), Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), The Hunger Games (2012), and Thor: The Dark World (2013). Old Movie? Really? DUH!
I tried to look for a clerk who might conceivably be a sci-fi or fantasy geek, but totally struck OUT!! Okay, so I might have found it elsewhere if I’d been willing to drive all over town, but since I wasn’t willing to go that route I gave up and finally just ordered the DVD from Amazon.com.
Of course, I do have to point out that while Volume Two is due to be released to theaters in mere DAYS, even Amazon will not yet allow me to pre-order THAT, but what the Hell!
So is it me? Are the things I’m looking for really that obscure, or is it just “the DUH factor” in operation?