January 20, 2017 by phicks2012
Once Upon A Time I really believed in happily ever after. I assumed, like so many young girls and young women, that I would one day find the love of my life — my soulmate — my split-apart. I kept looking, and kept believing for a very, very long time, even when the fairy tale failed to come true — even when the (very few) Princes in my life continued to reveal themselves more as knaves, or ogres, or pretenders to the Throne.
Bear in mind that this is not a commentary on the quality of men in the SCA, where chivalry and gallantry are stressed FAR more than in mundane life, but only a general rundown of my own life experience. Some folks get lucky. Some don’t. I had relationships, but none of them worked out — either my fault or theirs — because the feelings just weren’t there.
But, you know, the older I got the more I came to realize that the “happily ever after” was probably just not going to happen for me. At a certain point in life, I looked around and realized that all of the men I found appealing — those having traits I admired and that I found attractive — were, as they say “all taken”. I also discovered that even when they lost their beloved spouses they never seemed to be “in the market” for a woman their own age. Nope. They mostly wanted 30-something trophy wives, preferably arm candy, and since there were plenty of women out there willing to go that route, as I got older and less nubile myself it became increasingly unlikely that any of these men were going to look my way. Depressing, yes, but also true — and forget online dating sites!
There were men who expressed interest. Don’t get me wrong, there really were. However, these were either married men looking for a little something on the side (NOT my style), or losers looking for someone to support them financially (been there – done that – didn’t want another t-shirt), or men with health problems looking for a care-giver (sorry, but no), or men I wasn’t even remotely (for a wide variety of reasons) attracted to. Hey! I do still have standards! 😉
So, at this point in my life I’ve regrettably stopped being a romantic and become a realist/cynic where love is concerned. Some women — even a number I know — have been lucky enough to find the fairy tale. They found, married, had families with, and continue to adore the men in their lives, and I envy them more than I can say. I hope they continue to appreciate what they have.
As for me, the following verse is admittedly depressing, but there you have it. At least it was honestly felt, when written.
There Is No Prince Charming
There is no Prince Charming, no swift-mounted knight
To sweep from the forest in maille polished bright,
To climb my stone tower, once tender youth flies.
The key to my chamber unsought-after lies.
There is no Prince Charming with claims to a Throne.
Those few who come questing once beauty has flown,
They come seeking fortune or wealth to be won,
Bright gold for their coffers, wherein they have none.
There is no Prince Charming, once beauty’s song fades.
Those few who come riding in tattered brocades
Have hearts that are weary and locks that are grey,
Seeking hands that will tend them while they fade away.
There is no Prince Charming, and ne’er now will be,
To sweep me away and to take care of me.
My time long has passed, it will never return.
And it does me no service to pine or to yearn.
There is no Prince Charming, and if he once strode,
He long ago turned down a different road,
And left me to wither, and watch the years fly.
There is no Prince Charming, for one such as I.
[03 January A.S. LI, 2017]