Improbable New Year’s Resolutions

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January 8, 2016 by phicks2012

Red TowerEvery year we’re encouraged to make New Year’s Resolutions, and most of us never keep them. We resolve to lose weight, to exercise more, to learn a new skill, to take up a new hobby, to get knighted, to ask for a raise and to write the Great American Novel. We make all sorts of resolutions, and most of us probably ought to call up Guinness — the World’s Records people as opposed to the Brewery — if we actually succeed.

Okay, well, maybe we should call the brewery people if our resolution is to drink more Guinness, and I know of a number of people who could easily keep THAT resolution, and I’ll drink to that, though I prefer Mead.

In any case though, I can’t recall a single New Year’s Resolution I’ve ever managed to keep. I’ve accomplished a lot of things in my life, but none of them were ever associated with a New Year’s Resolution, so if I resolve to do something that’s sort of like guaranteeing that I won’t manage it.

So, this year I resolved not to make any New Year’s Resolutions! I figured that would mean that for the very first time ever I could manage to keep one — except that technically I screwed up anyway because resolving not to make a resolution is still making one.

So here I am again, failing to keep a New Year’s Resolution! Therefore, I am now asking for suggestions for an Idiot-Proof New Year’s Resolution! Let me know if you can think up one I can keep!!! Please!


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I am an active, outgoing person interested in all sorts of things and all sorts of people! I'm constantly discovering new interests, and expect that to continue right into the grave!

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