August 18, 2015 by phicks2012
I’ve reached an age when high school and college are both “several” years in the past, and when the notion of reestablishing contact with old friends can be pleasantly intriguing. I mean, it might be interesting — even fun — to talk again to people we once thought of as friends, and to find out what paths their lives have taken. It might be fun to talk and to laugh about old misadventures, and to share subsequent tales of triumph or woe, and to reestablish something of that bond of friendship from days gone by, right?
The problem is that it seldom works that way. We send a “friend request” to our old chum and they ignore it totally, or they friend us but barely respond to our attempts to catch up, or they do chat briefly with us but really have nothing at all to say. After chatting (so to speak) with them we find ourselves wondering if their lives are really as dreary and uneventful as we’re inclined to believe, or whether they’ve simply turned into boring, uncommunicative people incapable of holding even a marginally animated conversation.
Okay, so years pass and we go in different directions, and sometimes we just no longer have anything much in common, but we tend to remember personalities and don’t expect those to change so much. Friends who were bright, funny, effervescent and talkative shouldn’t morph into a dull, boring sticks with nothing — let alone anything interesting — to say. We expect friends we enjoyed because of their spirit, their intelligence and their sense of humor to retain those qualities throughout life, but all too often that does not seem to be the case.
That’s why, when we do reconnect with someone whose essence has not changed, or has improved, we probably ought to make a real point of appreciating that. We mostly already take pleasure when we discover that someone we knew as shy and retiscent has blossomed into a lively, interesting person, but we should also be thankful when people we remember as already having those qualities stay that way throughout the passing years.
A few weeks ago, after laughing with a current friend and sharing tales about high school, I decided to take another stab at locating an old friend from those entertaining days on Facebook, and actually succeeded. She not only accepted my friend request, but immediately messaged me, and after chatting awhile on Facebook we moved on to the phone and wound up talking and laughing for over two hours.
It’s sad that reconnecting cannot always be that way, and that it has so rarely happened for me, but I want those few friends to know how much it means to me to see that they have managed to retain, through the passing years, their sense of humor, and their ability to laugh, and their willingness to communicate!! Here’s (especially) to you Happy Higgy, and to you Lynn C. for continuing to be the selves I so fondly remember. Thank you.