January 16, 2015 by phicks2012
Why is it that some people seem determined to take offense at the slightest thing, and/or to become furious with people who have done nothing whatsoever to harm them — certainly nothing in any way deliberate?
I hate to think how many times in my life people I thought of as reasonable, intelligent human beings have suddenly, and without any sort of warning, stopped speaking — or at least stopped speaking with any civility — to me, and I have almost always learned later that they did so as the result of some ridiculously minor thing.
Don’t yet me wrong. I can piss people off, but I generally have at least a serious inkling of what I’ve done — if in fact I’ve done something — to cause it. If I’ve caused it, and the person with a problem lets me know, then that’s one thing. I can and will accept that. Okay. My bad.
But people too often in the past have “assumed” that I knew, or ought to know, what I did to offend them when I’ve had no clue at all — because they didn’t see fit to enlighten me, or because I was being blamed for something that was actually in no way my fault.
I’ve been blamed in this way for things I “didn’t” do — and didn’t know I was “expected” to do or was in anyone’s mind “responsible” for doing. I’ve been blamed for not including non-family members in family gatherings, or non-household members in household gatherings. I’ve been blamed for not including third parties when I was invited to someone else’s home or along on someone else’s vacation and they were not. I’ve been blamed for not handling a problem when the resolution was in fact someone else’s job, and I’ve been blamed for “allowing” someone “else” to do something. Give me a break.
Then there are those things I’m being blamed for that I supposedly did, but didn’t actually do. Generally, this has been a matter of blame-shifting by a third party, or of pot-stirring by someone who just enjoyed making trouble, but if I don’t know what I supposedly did then I can’t very well address the issue, can I?
So if you decide to get your knickers in a knot and stop speaking to me (or to any friend) — or start being rude to me (ditto) — then at least please consider letting me (or them) know why you think this is justified. Treating a person badly isn’t going to make them regret doing — or not doing — something they’re not even aware of. HINT: Speaking for myself, it’s only going to piss me off and convince me that you are a pain in the ass. 😉
So here’s a little verse inspired by this sort of thing, and I hope some of you can identify with my sentiments, one way or the other! 😉
I speak a word, no harm or insult meant,
Nor sound that should offend a kindly ear,
With neither low design nor vile intent.
Why are you so inclined affront to hear?
I make a simple error, undesigned,
Some minor execution left undone
With no discourtesy; no one maligned.
Why is aspersion what you settle on?
I make a simple choice, my own to make,
That should not touch your life. My own domain;
An option taken just for my own sake.
Why would you think that I have caused you pain?
Whatever I may speak, neglect to say,
or fail to do you take it as a slight,
And rage against me thinking to repay
My perfidy, but what gives you the right?
I am not blameless in this earthly life,
But neither do I stand in blame alone,
And when you gaze at deeds that foster strife
I beg you to consider well your own.
[04 December, 2014]