September 1, 2014 by phicks2012
In the frivolous spirit of televised competition shows like Survivor, Big Brother, and Different Worlds, I’ve been contemplating — with considerable irreverent amusement –how such a format might translate to the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism).
Hey! Wipe that smile off of your face!! It could work, and would definitely be entertaining — for some of us!!!
We’d put a dozen or so Proteges — or Apprentices — or Squires into a house and make them compete to be the last one standing. The Proteges would have challenges relating to problem-solving, paperwork shuffling, organizing and running activities, and maybe trying their hand at weather-control (inside joke). Apprentices would face challenges relating to the creation of period garb and artifacts, speed-research, teaching, performing, and seam-checking. Squires would face challenges relating to chivalry, battle tactics, and the coordination of spiffy armor and weapon styles, but, of course, would mostly just fight it out with big sticks and compare bruises.
Oh, and the occupants of each of the houses would be competing for a Peerage! The winners would become Pelicans, Laurels or Knights!
To create the requisite DRAMA, we’d, of course, have to use selective casting techniques. We could not, for example, limit ourselves to candidates actually being considered, even potentially, for one of those Peerages. No, we’d have to toss in at least a few contestants unlikely ever to be elevated without the aid of a tower crane.
We’d insert a lazy, do-as-little-as-possible-unless-someone-important-is-watching Protege, and one who couldn’t organize his or her way out of bed in the morning.
We’d add in an Apprentice who clearly takes credit for the work and the research of others, and maybe one who makes secret use of –God Forbid — polyester.
We’d cast a Squire who’s idea of chivalry doesn’t involve offering assistance to Ladies who might not qualify as “hotties”, and maybe another who couldn’t win a tourney even if most of the other combatants were stricken with plague.
Somehow, of course, these less-than-stellar contestants would manage NOT to be eliminated right away. The judges — Peers and Royals — wouldn’t see their flaws immediately, though the regular watchers naturally would. Or maybe the other contestants would be so busy voting off the REAL competition (because that’s the way shows like this seem to work) that the slackers, brown-nosers and oafs would manage not to be targeted for immediate elimination, because they would not be seen as viable threats. As a result, they’d hang around for a while being booed and hissed via Twitter until nearly the bitter end when they’d finally be ousted — to the utter relief of the SCA viewing populace!!!
So, what do you think? Would you watch it, and, if so, do you have any potential contestants (good or bad) in mind? Inquiring minds want to know! 😉