Printer Exorcism?

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August 15, 2014 by phicks2012

Knotwork blockMy Printer Was Possessed. I know this because I can think of no other reason why it behaved the way it did, and I’m standing by that!! Yes, I am.

I’ve owned a string of very reliable HP Printers, but back in 2012 I discovered, much to my dismay, that my beloved Deskjet 6122 –which duplexed and never let me down — would no longer communicate with my new computer because Hewlett Packard was no longer making updated drivers for it. I still used it for a while with my laptop, which was still running Windows XP at the time, but eventually it just went deaf and I had to get a new printer. No choice.

So, because I’d always had such good luck with HP, I got an HP Officejet 6000n — my first wireless printer — and that was pretty cool. I could print from any computer on my home network!! Of course, that was only the case when the printer actually worked.

Almost from day one I had issues with the printer. Sometimes it would refuse to print from particular programs — like MSPublisher, or MSWord, or Notepad — or it would refuse to print web pages. I cannot begin to estimate how many times I power-cycled the printer, or un-installed and re-installed the software to correct problems like this, though there’s an actual record of how very many times I frantically called HP for help, fully expecting the printer to levitate and revolve in mid-air while growling in Latin.

At one point they recommended downloading a diagnostic program that actually worked some of the time, but not always, to get things back on track, and the most common problem was that the printer would arbitrarily take itself offline. I’d try to print and I’d get a message that the printer was offline, with no option to put it back ONline. It got so bad I half expected the print-heads to do 360s and spew pea soup at me.

The communication issues were so common that I hardwired the wireless printer to my system just in hopes of avoiding this sort of problem, and it did seem to cut down on the mayhem just a bit, but there were also other problems with the printer.

For one thing, it used four ink cartridges, which was supposed to be economical, but the color cartidges seemed to hold only about enough ink to fill an eyedropper, and higher capacity cartridges would not have fit in the cartridge slots even if they had been available. Also, even when printing B&W the printer used Color Ink, so those color cartridges were sucked dry faster than I could even SAY “eyedropper”. NOT good.

So, finally, the other day I started getting an “Ink System Failure” error message, and I phoned HP customer support yet again, this time figuring the hardware itself had finally been turned inside out, or something equally bizarre. Fortunately, I’d had brains enough — when I started having demonic possession problems with the printer in the first place, to hedge my bets by getting an extended warranty, so the good folks at HP said they were going to be sending me a new printer — NOT the same model, by the way — and taking back my possessed 6000n.

THEY have it now, and maybe they can call in the Vatican and get it exorcised, but if not at least I will no longer have to consider contacting Ghost Hunters or plunging the whole thing into Holy Water.

V. Dóminus vobíscum.
R. Et cum spírito tuo.

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I am an active, outgoing person interested in all sorts of things and all sorts of people! I'm constantly discovering new interests, and expect that to continue right into the grave!

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