November 4, 2013 by phicks2012
A while back I decided, despite my age and the fact that I am no longer “a hot young chick with unlimited curb appeal”, to give on-line dating a try. I signed up for one of the more widely-advertised services because they promised to pair me up not just with “men” but with “compatible men”, based upon their wonderfully exhaustive screening process. At the time, that sounded like a better idea with a greater likelihood of success than just throwing a name and profile out there. <insert hysterical laughter here>
In the first place, after answering all of their many questions and inputting my own preferences I saw no indication that my preferences were ever taken into consideration at all. I sent greetings to most of those supposedly wonderful matches, even when I didn’t find them physically attractive, just to cover my bets, but I was never paired with a single man who both responded to my initial greetings and with whom I had a single thing in common other than — I’m assuming — heterosexuality and membership in the species homo sapiens.
And those were the ones from whom I actually GOT a response when I tried to initiate contact myself. There were always LOTS of potential matches scrolling down the screen, but trying to get responses to contact attempts was mostly about as useful as nominating myself for the Nobel Prize in Physics.
Now, I understand that the “no longer being a hot young chick” factors in. A lot of men want arm candy and they prefer youth even if their own shelf-life is long expired or they were no bargain to begin with even in their supposed heyday. Facts are facts, but this was also partly because the service offered (and still offers) free trial memberships that last only a few days. Lots of people sign up for these trials, their profiles are entered into the system, and when they decline to join, or later quit, those profiles apparently remain and they continue to be matched to people who no longer can contact them. Brilliant! I’m probably still being matched up myself even though I gave up on these people LONG ago.
When I did get responses, unfortunately, they were nearly always from men who 1) lived at a ridiculous distance, 2) were (for a WIDE variety of reasons) totally not my type at all, or 3) appeared too good to be true and immediately wanted to go straight to personal contact — and so were very likely either scammers or sociopaths.
I was advised to get a “Glamour Shot” done for my profile — you know, one of those photos that look almost NOTHING like the subject and can be downright scary after that subject reaches a certain age? In theory, this was supposed to generate more interest, and changing my photo to a more appealing non-Glamour Shot did in fact increase the contacts “minimally” among the aging, overweight, comb-over set that previously thought (wrongly, by the way) that they were just too hot for me. Regrettably, I still had nothing in common with any of these aging Lotharios, all of whom seemed to be obsessed either with motorcycles, religion, hunting and fishing, or NASCAR, and very few of which were at all well-educated, well-heeled, healthy, or in possession of a functional sense of humor.
Finally I gave up, deciding that I probably had a better chance of meeting Mr. Right at a Gay Pride parade than on one of those on-line dating sites. And now when I hear their ads on TV rhapsodizing about the wonders — and extreme likelihood — of finding my true soul-mate via on-line dating, I find myself highly motivated to laugh hysterically — and I no longer wonder why social media pages for services like this lack “Dislike” buttons. 😉