May 3, 2013 by phicks2012
Lately I just keep on seeing products advertised on TV that it never occurred to me either to want or to need. I’m beginning to think that there are people just sitting up at night with their mixed drinks —or more likely with their designer drugs — inventing problems that have to be fixed using their products, in the same way that they seem to invent new diseases which have to be treated using their drugs (always assuming that you are willing to ignore the lengthy disclaimers attached thereto and that you feel you need it despite the fact that one of the side-effects might be DEATH).
One product in particular that leaps immediately to mind is a laundry additive proclaimed to solve the problem of a stinky washing machine. The commercial makes it sound as though this were a prevalent problem — walking into your laundry room and being blind-sided by a really offensive stench — but in all my life I’ve never noticed any sort of unpleasant odor associated with any of the washers I’ve owned or used. I therefore have to wonder just what some people are putting into their washers to generate such reputedly unpleasant miasmas. Surely not detergent!
Then there are ads promising results they don’t really deliver — like dating services and various equally ineffective weight loss or tooth whitening products. I’ve foolishly tried a few of these, only to discover what a phenomenal waste of time and/or money they were. One well-known dating service offers free trial memberships that last for about a week, and thousands of people sign up to try them out, but get no real results and subsequently refuse to pay to join. Unfortunately, the company keeps them on their system and continues to match them up (long after they are no longer connected) with other people who cannot then make contact– and with most of whom they have absolutely nothing in common other than sharing a human genom. I found their supposedly extensive compatibility tests to be a joke, and learned qickly that stated preferences did not seemingly affect the matches either. I never communicated with a single remotely compatible person, just as I never lost an ounce (just a lot of cash and probably a few taste buds) on the equally well-known and heavily-advertised (and expensive) pre-packaged meal weight loss program I endured.
And finally there are the simply annoying commercials like those for the Direct TV Genii, Titlemax, Progressive Insurance, and Colon Flow. I ask you, who comes up with names like Colon Flow anyway? I have visions of some inebriated ad executive laughing his ass off — though, of course, your mileage may vary.
So, that’s it for my latest rant! Anyone else out there find some advertised products to be — just bizarre? Let me know, won’t you?