Zombie Apocalypse Top Ten Housemate Critera


November 6, 2012 by phicks2012

A few days ago I asked readers to help me out by suggesting things I ought to require of people moving into The Castle in the event of The Zombie Apocalypse, and promised to publish the Top Ten best suggestions.

Okay, now by “best” I meant 1) Most promising when it comes to limiting access for grifters, nutbars, and actual zombies, 2) Most humorous, and 3) Most technologically intriguing. Not all of the suggestions I received were useful, though “Don’t accept anyone who has ever attacked co-workers with a machete” was a best 2-out-of-3!

So here they are!!!

1) Cannot already be infected with the Zombie Virus.
2) Must be able to make accurate Head-shots.
3) Cannot be a known psychotic.
4) Must have a weapon (plus the ability to use it) and/or a a beneficial skill to add to the militia (whining and or complaining is not a beneficial skill but brewing/vintning or cooking is).
5) Cannot ever have attacked co-workers with a machete.
6) Definitely cannot be a necrophiliac.
7) Must be able to move faster than a decaying corpse.
8) Must be willing to run down Zombies with an SUV.
9) Cannot be a known drug adict or an escapee from a ward for the criminally insane.
10) Cannot ever have been arrested for opening fire on innocent bystanders from a clock tower.

So what do you think? Anyone rendered ineligible by the above list need not reply!!! 😉


2 thoughts on “Zombie Apocalypse Top Ten Housemate Critera

  1. woodrow says:

    you might want to reconsider the prohibition on the clock tower shooter.just have to convince them that it’s the zombies out to get them ,not the housemates.also depends on how good a shot &how much ammo they have.

    • phicks2012 says:

      Point taken. A good marksman is, after all, a good marksman — as long as he or she isn’t taking aim at non-threatening targets. Friendly Fire is bad at BEST, and during a Zobie Apocalypse —–!!! 😦

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I am an active, outgoing person interested in all sorts of things and all sorts of people! I'm constantly discovering new interests, and expect that to continue right into the grave!

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